Many Ups and Downs Right Now

I feel a need to write from my heart here today, as my heart is full of much mixed emotions. We received very sad news yesterday. A friend of ours who has been battling cancer for quite some time passed away yesterday morning. She was only 43 years old, and she leaves a husband and two precious children. It's been quite a struggle for the children watching their mother, sick more than she was well for most of their lives. The thing that strikes me to my very heart is that I remember when she was diagnosed all those years ago, and it was just before Christmas, and now she has passed away just before Christmas. It is of great comfort, though, knowing that she knew and loved the Lord, and I am sure she is feeling no pain or suffering as she now rests in His embrace. We will miss you, Andrea.

On a happier note, I am rejoicing with our dear friends, Joe and Susanna and their family, as their precious newly adopted daughter continues to grow and improve in so many ways. Hers was a sad story until Joe and Susanna determined to make her a part of their family. You can find out more and see pictures of precious little Katie here.

Today has been a gloomy, rainy day. Our little guy is exhibiting some challenging behaviors lately as well. My oldest son believes it's all because of the excitement and expectation of the holidays. To which my response was, but he didn't behave this poorly last year. But then, my oldest reminded me, "Well, Mom, last year he didn't know what to expect." (As we are sure that he hadn't experienced holiday celebrations before becoming a part of our family.) It has put my mind to rest, but it is so difficult to have to deal with the challenges on a daily basis amid all of the other things that life throws my way. Oh, well, I know it is all part of being an adoptive parent and no one ever promised that it would be easy. Alas, I grow weary trying to find new disciplines and encouragements that work because it so often seems that nothing works.

It is difficult being so alone in these challenges, as we have very few friends who truly understand our struggles because our children did not belong to us as infants. They came to us as toddlers or preschoolers from the foster care system. They came with so many insecurities, fears and anger. They had no boundaries or training in self-discipline in their early years, so when they are feeling strong emotions, whether positive or negative, they don't know how to control their actions and it's exhausting trying to teach them.

I know that it is well worth it, as clearly evidenced by our two older boys, who are such a blessing as they grow in the Lord. I know that this little one too, but I guess, I forgot how challenging and tiring it can be, and I'm no longer a Spring chicken!

Anyway, that's all for now. I feel a little better, just getting some of this off of my chest.